MY GHOST JOE AND THE IMPATIENT HORDE

I’ve spent the past hour staring at my computer screen, trying to figure out a way to write about what I did yesterday, without sounding absolutely bat-guano crazy, and have determined that it can’t be done.  My current house-ghost, Joe, is a big brute of a dead guy, and he has been bringing other dead people to my house so I can help them ascend.  This is the psychic work that I do, and the agreement I made with Joe seemed a no-brainer at the time, but I’m sorry, there is no way to say in polite company that I have a giant ghost named Joe in my house and he goes out every day to collect other ghosts and then comes back at night with a bunch of them, and makes them stay in my attic until I have time to deal with them.  At least, not without a straightjacket with my name on it arriving shortly thereafter.

But that is, in fact, what has been happening at my house, and is, in fact, what led to me helping 17 dead souls make their peace and ascend yesterday.  Which, in truth, also sounds crazy.

In the deal I struck with Joe (which you can read about here), I didn’t put any restrictions on the type of spirits that he was allowed to bring to me.  I had moments of regret about this this week, as Joe kept insisting that I deal with the spirits at night instead of during the day, and I feared the reason for this was an attic full of demons and demigods, which manifest their most violent form at night.  With my apprehension running high, I put off dealing with the ghosts as long as I could, but with more arriving every day, I really couldn’t afford to wait any longer.

I approached my back hallway (the area I designated for these meetings) with a healthy dose of fear and trepidation, and encountered the 17 spirits crammed into a 4’ x 4’ space, looking for all the world like Michelangelo’s Last Judgement (now with clothing!).  But to my great relief, there were no demons or demigods in the bunch — just a mix of troubled souls.

I wasn’t quite sure how to proceed, so started with an educational speech about ascension: the requirements (let go of any guilt and regret that you are harboring; claim your life lessons learned and forgive yourself and/or others for anything you are still feeling bad about); the procedure (I will open a portal to the other side; your ancestors and ascended loved ones will gather around the portal to welcome you; you will stand under the portal and when ready, push off and go up).  I highlighted some of the most common reasons for being Earth-bound (believing that death is the end of everything and not knowing what to do when it isn’t; believing oneself to be unfit or unworthy for ascension; ties to the living) and stressed the importance of ascension and its availability to all.  I described the energetic transformation that accompanies ascension, and explained how the transformation enables ascended souls to have direct contact with their loved ones by visiting in dreams.

Speech over, my plan was to ascend — as a group — all those spirits who were “clean” and didn’t have any further emotional baggage to deal with.  And then I would see how many were left and handle those on a case-by-case basis.

The spirits in my hallway had other ideas about how this should go down, though, so once I opened a portal, they went one at a time, in no particular order as to the profoundness of their unresolved issues.  First was a woman who ascended without comment, relieved at the opportunity to finally cross over, and then a man who looked me up and down and glared at me like he was determined to prove me wrong about everything I just said.  But his energy was “clean”, I saw no guilt or regret in him, and I simply wished him, “Blessings on your journey.”  He stood under the portal, looked up and saw his grandfather, and up he went to join him.  Next was a teenaged boy and then a girl of about 11, followed by two women who were quibbling at the back of the line.  One of them wanted to ascend with her friend, while the friend wasn’t sure she was ready to cross over.  I told the first woman, “You have to do what’s right for you, and trust that she will do what’s right for her.”  The first woman ascended, but her friend had some issues she needed to work thru first.  For starters, she required a speech about forgiveness that included me invoking Maya Angelou and telling her, “Now that you know better, do better,” followed by her taking several very long minutes to work that through.

The 17 souls I ascended consisted of seven women, five men, two teenaged boys, two children, and a baby.  Most crossed over relatively easily, but a few tested my patience.  The most difficult case was a mother of young children who believed she was helping her husband and her children by lingering around them in her Earth-bound spirit state.  I had a lot to say to this (of a contradictory nature), including that, “You sticking around has put a bookmark in your husband’s life story.  Ascend so that he can move on into the next chapter of his life, whatever that may be.  And ascend so that you can be a guardian angel for your kids.”  The most gratifying case was a small, Asian woman who died very lonely, having pushed love out of her life.  She vowed to be different and to do different in her next life, and was astounded by the number of ascended souls who came to witness and welcome her ascension.

Bringing up the rear of this rag-tag army was a pair of elderly sisters who were reconciled in death, wanted to be together again in another life, but weren’t sure they wanted to do that right away.  And a big Texan, who looked like he intended to Rule Heaven, but squealed like a 6th grader when his kid sister greeted him from the other side.

It was weird but extremely gratifying to ascend so many souls at once, and humbling to think how many more are out there.  My ghost Joe stood in an adjoining room the whole time, listening, and I hope beginning to ponder his own ascension.  But he is here for now, and I rather anxiously await what he will bring home next.  Was this week a test of my word, and next week a test of my skill?  We shall see…..