MY GHOST JOE

body builderMy most recent house-ghost, Joe, helped me out a month or so ago with my tests of ghost-detection apps, and I set out to keep my promise and help him make his peace and ascend.  Things with Joe didn’t turn out quite the way I thought they would, though.

I was not sure what drew Joe to me, as we have no familial or spiritual connections, and he has no past ties to my house.  Joe died sometime in the 1990’s in a hunting accident that wasn’t an accident.  The man who killed him walked away from the crime unpunished, but wound up going crazy insane over it.  As Joe put it, he “would have been better off if he’d been thrown in the slammer.”

I asked Joe what drew him to me or to my house, and, if he knew that I could help him, how he knew that.  He said that he was walking by my house and he saw me.  Saw me?  Like through the window?  No, not like through the window, more like through several walls.  Ooh, I didn’t like the sound of that.  But I thought maybe there was more to it than that, so I told him about a ghost I helped several years ago, and how she showed me that some houses glow with a golden light, and I asked Joe if my house was glowing.  He said it wasn’t so much how my house looked, it was more how it sounded.  HOW IT SOUNDED?  Joe said that it hummed.  MY HOUSE HUMS?  And then he added, “Or you do.”  HOLY CRAP.  I HUM IN SOME WAY THAT GHOSTS CAN HEAR?  Oh.  Lord.  I never sing to myself or hum in the singing way, so I knew he was talking about a vibrational thing.  Like vibrating pheromones or something.

I didn’t know this was a thing, didn’t know I was doing it, can’t hear it myself, don’t have any way to stop it.  Which means that any ghost “in range” can hear my hum like a homing beacon.  Great (I said sarcastically).  Just great.

I walked away from Joe at that point, unable to get any further information from him, and unsure how to proceed.  I came back to him the next day, asked a few more questions that got me nowhere, and then encountered him at night.  At night, he is different — bigger and more powerful — but not sinister and dark like the demon I helped several years ago.  He looked like a cross between a bouncer and a minotaur, but friendly.  Sort of like a fierce, protective, kindly overlord.  I asked a lot of questions about this, but got very little information out of him.

Stumped, I gave myself a few days to ponder, and came back to face him.  He is very polite and stays upstairs, in my back hall, never bothering me or moving from his “post.”  I appreciate this, but was thinking it was kind of weird for a ghost to do that.  Usually they are so desperate for my help that they bug me every chance they get, in every way they can think of.  Not Joe.

I should have paid more attention to that, because it was a clue.  It took me awhile, but I eventually asked better questions and found out Joe’s deal.  He wants to help dead people by bringing them to me.  It was important to him that I see him at his powerful best — at night — so that I would understand his particular qualifications for this work.  His hope was that I would also understand that I could trust him.

Intrigued, and feeling quite certain that he was protective of me, I asked a lot of questions and we eventually struck a deal: ghost Joe is allowed to bring any and all spirits to my house that he perceives need my help; they are to stay in the attic or back hallway; Joe is responsible for the spirits he brings to me and will act to protect me and to enforce my house rules; I get to deal with the spirits in my own way and on my own schedule.

And what’s in it for Joe?  I asked him that, and he dodged any attempt at an answer.  I am left to assume that he feels a need to do penance for something he isn’t ready to talk about.  I am fine with that, and he seems fine with the assumption, so we will leave it at that for now.

I am nervous about what I have agreed to, as I do not relish the thought of an angry horde of demons descending on my back hallway.  But I am also curious.  I have never had a ghost propose such an arrangement and I am, as I said, intrigued.

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