My resident house-ghost, Joe, was gone for three weeks, and I was more than a little worried. Joe and I made an unusual deal, whereby he brings troubled souls to me, and I help those souls ascend. Within a few days of making this deal, Joe brought 17 such spirits to me, which I wrote about in an earlier post (see My Ghost Joe and the Impatient Horde). With Joe gone so long this time, I wondered what he was going to bring me next. As each day passed with no sight of Joe, my visions became more fantastical and melodramatic, so that by the time Joe reappeared, I fully expected him to be accompanied by a gang of zombie demon terrorists.
In my last column, I boldly stated that heaven is for everyone, that all you have to do to go there is die, forgive yourself, release your guilt, make peace with your life and your death, and ascend. This statement was a real, “But of course!” thing for me, but it raised A LOT of questions for my husband. In particular, he wanted to know what happens to the spirit of a person who is incapable of feeling guilt, like a psychopath or serial killer? Do they have to stick around in an Earth-bound state until they get a conscience? Does the stuff that they did during their lifetime weigh on their soul, even though they have no remorse? Can those people ascend without acknowledgement of and forgiveness for their crimes? Do they go somewhere else for awhile? Does death have a way of opening a person’s eyes to right and wrong? Can death change a person?
I may be guilty of some inadvertent fear-mongering, in my zeal to get everyone on board with my “Ascension is Great!” campaign. It is possible, I admit, that I may have overstated a few things, and given the impression that ghosts are dangerous. I sincerely and humbly apologize for this, because GHOSTS DON’T HAVE THE POWER TO ACTUALLY HURT YOU. Really. Ghosts are pure spirit energy, so the power they possess is ethereal and energetic, with no physical substance. Yes, they could come at you with a knife, but it would be a ghost knife and all it would do is cut air. And I’m pretty sure you aren’t going to be hurt by that AT ALL.
I’ve spent the past hour staring at my computer screen, trying to figure out a way to write about what I did yesterday, without sounding absolutely bat-guano crazy, and have determined that it can’t be done. My current house-ghost, Joe, is a big brute of a dead guy, and he has been bringing other dead people to my house so I can help them ascend. This is the psychic work that I do, and the agreement I made with Joe seemed a no-brainer at the time, but I’m sorry, there is no way to say in polite company that I have a giant ghost named Joe in my house and he goes out every day to collect other ghosts and then comes back at night with a bunch of them, and makes them stay in my attic until I have time to deal with them. At least, not without a straightjacket with my name on it arriving shortly thereafter.
But that is, in fact, what has been happening at my house, and is, in fact, what led to me helping 17 dead souls make their peace and ascend yesterday. Which, in truth, also sounds crazy.
My most recent house-ghost, Joe, helped me out a month or so ago with my tests of ghost-detection apps, and I set out to keep my promise and help him make his peace and ascend. Things with Joe didn’t turn out quite the way I thought they would, though.
I was not sure what drew Joe to me, as we have no familial or spiritual connections, and he has no past ties to my house. Joe died sometime in the 1990’s in a hunting accident that wasn’t an accident. The man who killed him walked away from the crime unpunished, but wound up going crazy insane over it. As Joe put it, he “would have been better off if he’d been thrown in the slammer.”
I asked Joe what drew him to me or to my house, and, if he knew that I could help him, how he knew that.
My apologies for the interruption in my regular posting schedule, but my husband had major surgery and I’ve been a bit busy. But while he was recovering, our kids came to stay for overlapping periods of time to help out, and on one random day, my oldest son queried, “Did you know that there are apps for finding ghosts?”
No, I did not.
But I do now.
A quick search led me to a surprising number of apps that promise to “locate ghosts” and “measure paranormal activity” and “analyze energy readings looking for unusual patterns” and I could not resist downloading a bunch and checking them out. I focused my research on free apps with the highest ratings, and avoided those apps that were deliberate pranks, such as the one that will add a ghost to any photo. I have a new ghost in my house who really wants my help, so he agreed to be my test subject, ostensibly to butter me up. His name is Joe.
Not that everyone wants to attract a ghost…..but…..there are things that do make one house more inviting to a ghost than other houses and things that make one person more attractive to a ghost than others. It may not be obvious to the wider world whether you and/or your house are dead-sexy to the dead, but I can tell you some things that ghosts find very appealing:
I arrived on the front stoop via remote viewing, ready to bust the ghost inside. The ghost, however, had other plans for me, and even with the permission of Lee, the homeowner and co-winner of my Most Haunted House Contest, I couldn’t get in. I asked Lee to physically open the front door, to break any seal the ghost had put on the house, but even that didn’t do it. We went to a side door, the back door, an upstairs window, to no avail. I landed on the back porch and could see inside, even though I couldn’t get inside. I saw brown cabinets. Lee said theirs were white. I cursed under my breath, pretty sure that the ghost had bounced me to the neighbor’s house.
I have never been bested by a ghost, and I wasn’t about to let this one be the first. Lee and I persisted, and after an agonizingly long time, I was in, only to be greeted by a ghostly refrain: “Come and get me” and clouds of thick, choking smoke.
I saw from the picture of the house (not the haunted hotel pictured here) that I was in for a challenge, and I must say that I wasn’t disappointed in that regard. The owner of the house, a wonderful woman named Claudia, was one of two winners in my Most Haunted House Contest, and last week I set about ridding her house of a ghostly nuisance named Mary. But right from the start, Mary was a pesky lot of trouble.
When I do a ghost busting, I use my ability to remote view, and I send my psychic sight through the phone line and into the person’s house. To spirits in the house, it appears as though my face just “pops through;” to me, it is like I extend my energy out as far as I can reach. I don’t understand the mechanics of how it works, but remote viewing allows me to communicate with the spirits in a house directly, as I can see and hear them and their energy, and they can see and hear me.
We have a winner! Actually, we have two winners in my Most Haunted House Contest! Congratulations to Claudia Freeman and Lee Wright — both of you have houses that are most definitely haunted!
A big thank you to everyone who entered, and my apologies to those whose houses weren’t quite haunted enough, but a contest is a contest and somebody’s got to win. Narrowing the field down to two finalists was pretty easy, but choosing between them was impossible. One house, to my psychic eye, is full of noxious smoke and has a man-ghost who is up to no good, and the other house has been slimed by a cackling old-lady ghost who is committed to driving the “new” owner out. I agonized for two days over which was worse, and at midnight last night declared it a tie.
I will complete the winning ghost bustings within the next few weeks, and will write about it here — stay tuned!