unfinished painting by Benjamin West
unfinished painting by Benjamin West

I think we all generally agree on what constitutes unfinished business while we are alive: unfinished projects at work or home, unresolved disagreements, unsolved mysteries, incomplete estate paperwork, unsettled disputes.  But what constitutes unfinished business once we’re dead?  Good question.  In my work as a psychic medium, I deal with the unfinished business of the dead all the time:

A young man committed suicide and didn’t leave a note.  He did this to hurt his parents, wanting them to be left not knowing.  But he did not realize that it would also hurt his sister and his closest friends.  He had a tremendous amount of guilt and regret over this and other things, as he witnessed their unending torture from the unanswered questions he left behind.  The guilt and regret were unfinished business for him.

A middle-aged couple was murdered and the person who was convicted and punished for the crime was not the person actually responsible.  Their anger over the wrongness of this was unfinished business for them.

A young man was murdered in a situation that the local police investigated and dismissed as a case of mistaken identity.  There was no mistake, however, and his anger over the lack of truth and justice was unfinished business for the dead man.

An elderly man died in the midst of a decades-long genealogy search, trying to find his birth parents.  This quest was foundational to his life and to questions he had about who he was and where he came from.  The regret of dying without answers was unfinished business for him.

Sometimes, what seems like unfinished business to the living, isn’t to the dead.  This would include things like dying without finishing college or dying before an important life event (like the man I knew who died after 49 3/4 years of marriage).  But other unfinished business is more serious, carries into the afterlife, and has to get finished before ascension is possible.  This type of unfinished business creates a spiritual snag and an “I can’t leave things like this” situation that manifests as guilt, regret, anger, or a desire for revenge, like in the situations I described above.  These feelings are what I call “dirty” because they are very negative, very deep, and they create a sort of dark spot or smudge on the soul.  And your soul has to be “clean” in order to ascend.  To be “clean” means to forgive and be forgiven, to be free of guilt, to be reconciled to the circumstances of your life and your death, and to be fully at peace and full of love.

Certainly, it is best to die with no unfinished business, and you can work towards that by resolving conflicts and misunderstandings, spending your time doing the things that matter most to you, and making necessary changes in your life so as to avoid regrets.  But even in the best of circumstances, things happen beyond our control.  And sometimes death itself has an unfinished aspect to it, especially in cases of violent death where the crime isn’t solved and the person responsible isn’t brought to justice.

So, how does a dead person finish their unfinished business?  Sometimes, it just takes time.  Time for the person’s spirit to gain a new perspective and to work things out, or time for a crime to be solved.  In other cases, though, like the ones described above, more or different help is needed, like the help I offer with a reading.  In the case of the young man who committed suicide, a reading with one of his closest friends allowed information to flow directly from the young man’s spirit to his loved ones.  Haunting questions were answered, the situation (on both sides) was explained, guilt and regret were released, and forgiveness was found.

I did not mean for this blog post to be about suicide, but there is an important note to be made here.  People opt out of doing what they were put on this Earth to do all the time.  Even granny who died at 102 may have taken a pass on opportunities she encountered for important learning, growth, and contributions to the betterment of humanity.  It’s called free will.  We get caught up in the notion that suicide is un-natural and creates unfinished business that is difficult or impossible to complete.  The reality is that not doing what you were put into your life to do just means you have that same stuff to do in your next life.  The problem with suicide — and it is a problem — is the guilt and regret.  The spirits I have encountered who entered the afterlife as a result of suicide (whether intentional or accidental), did so with a tremendous amount of guilt and regret.  This is the unfinished business that must be dealt with in the afterlife, before moving on and ascension become possible.

The good news is that there are no hopeless cases.  I have never met a spirit that could not be helped.  Unfinished business can get finished, and every spirit can find forgiveness, the release of guilt, reconciliation to the circumstances of their life and death, and peace through love.


    • The spirits of your loved ones can hear you, so any conversations you have with them or prayers you say for them, they hear. If there are things they need to be forgiven for, or guilt they need to be absolved of, and you know what it is and can sincerely do that and say that, it can help their spirits make peace and ready themselves for ascension. If the situation is more complicated than that, and two-way communication is needed, a reading with me or someone like me may be necessary.

  1. I have awful anxiety, and I often can’t sleep thinking about death and fearful that I’d die in my sleep. It’s not really the dying that scares me, but it’s all the things left unsaid, things I wouldn’t get a chance to complete, etc. This was helpful in calming my mind! 🙂

  2. I have a close friend who passed away, he was 19, he was murdered in broad daylight. He had a big career ahead of him. A lot left to finish and look forward to and he knew this. I don’t know how to help his soul find peace. The death is still fresh

    • With his death so recent, you need to be patient. His spirit will need time to make peace, just as you need time to grieve. Also, if his murder remains unsolved and his murderer unpunished, that may need to be resolved before his spirit feels free to go. A spirit stuck in an un-ascended state is really only a cause for concern when it has been more than a year since their death. At that point, a reading may be necessary to help him resolve what remains unresolved and to finish what remains undone for his spirit to find peace and ascend. At any point, please feel free to email me a picture of your friend. It doesn’t cost anything to have me to take a look and see how he is doing. I am so sorry for your loss. It is tough to lose someone so young, with so much life to look forward to.

  3. This article really moved me to the core since my parents are both very unhappy and feel trapped in their situation and want to die every single day. It is a very sad and seems like a hopeless situation but after reading this article it has given me a little peace that I won’t lose contact with my parents forever once they die. I can still communicate with them through a medium and hope they find some peace, joy, and forgiveness in the next life.


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