Grief is a messy business. We want it to be manageable and to progress in an orderly manner, but it isn’t like that. Grief comes uninvited, stays longer than it seems it should, throws our life and being-ness out of whack, makes us feel “not quite ourselves” for a very long time, and won’t leave us alone. We want it to be otherwise, to be something we can control, understand, and predict. But grief has its own way.
And a good grief is free to follow its own way. Because when we lose someone close to us, we haven’t just lost the person we talked to about this, or went with to that, we have lost a spiritual companion. And while we talk about “wrapping our brain around” what has happened, what we really struggle with is wrapping our soul around it.